[rehab] Blindness mannerisms:

[Ericka]

You have some very good points angel! I am at training in one of the NFB centers. I just started last week so being under sleep shades is comfortable in some circumstances and not in others. I am not familiar with the area where we live or outside the center so today when I had to walk and mass with open chair people with canes to get to our designated fire safety spot I was very confused. The rest of the students couldn't figure out why I was confused and overwhelmed. Everyone tried to give me directions and explain things at the same time which did not help that I appreciated their assistance. The staff member spoke up and reminded them that I had only been there barely 2 weeks and it was understandable that I did not know where curbs or street names. He also reminded them that I take a different bus  then the rest of the students and that was why their orientation directions were not helping. See, my boyfriend is at the end of his training and I ride in with him and a roommate of his. These people were so used to where there were going because either they have been here for seven months and are at the end of their programs or have had pretty good training when younger. Then there are some who cheat with their shades. Just goes to show that it isn't just people who have been blind for 20 years that can have that attitude. I am so sorry the counselor made you feel so bad. I don't know which is worse; having Low Vision all your life with little skill opportunities until you desperately need them or losing vision later in life and going through what you did. I totally agree that everyone needs to remember where they came from and try to understand the journey is different for all. I really appreciated the staff member who though totally blind realized that one out of 10 people was struggling and asked me how I was doing. We had a talk afterwards and he helped me. This experience today just reminded me of what you had written. Hang in there Angel, and if you want to talk off-line I'd be happy to.

 Ericka Short
 from my iPhone 6+

> On Sep 29, 2017, at 10:08 AM, Angel238 via rehab <rehab at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I don't know whether my post was sent to an individual.  Or whether it was sent to the list.  So, I am sending it to the list.  I apologize, if it was sent twice.  The post follows.  
> Blind people can be the hardest, and the meanest toward each other.  When it 
> ought to be the other way around.  They ought to be the first to understand 
> the blind child or young adult.  Who may have been sheltered their whole 
> lives.  Not truly understanding how to properly socialize.  I well remember, 
> in the mid 60's.  I was introduced to the adult rehabilitation process.  The 
> first time I and my totally blind rehabilitation councilor met.  I had to 
> fill out a form.  Stating all the skills I could perform, and how well I was 
> able to perform them.  They were skills I never was taught.  Because, I was 
> one of those sheltered blind children.  He said, nearly after each question 
> I answered no to :  "My wife can do that perfectly well."  Now, his wife was 
> also totally blind.  Perhaps, his intent was to spur me to a level of higher 
> achievement.  Telling me, his wife was totally blind, and implying that, if 
> she could accomplish laundering, cooking,  and sewing, and such, so should I 
> be able to do such things equally as well.  But, what he did succeed in 
> accomplishing was quite the opposite.  I left him with tears in my eyes.  I 
> told my mother this, and she was quick to remind me, his wife was some 20 or 
> so years older than was I, and was married, with children, and with 
> experience.  Which is why, we always should be sure those blind people for 
> whom blindness is an entirely new experience. Or those blind children, who 
> lived sheltered lives. through no fault of their own.  Receive a proper 
> prospective.  As it relates to their circumstances. Just because others who 
> are totally blind accomplish things, or possess skills which a child or a 
> newly blinded adult isn't capable, doesn't mean he is a failure, and will 
> never learn.  Of course, this goes without saying, when we talk among 
> ourselves.  But, we forget, sometimes, the sheltered young adult, or newly 
> blinded person doesn't know blind people who succeed aren't somehow super 
> people.  Whose achievements aren't beyond themselves to accomplish.  After 
> all, isn't the stereotype of the challenged person, that he does marvelous 
> things.  When he accomplishes even the simplest things?  So, from the 
> beginning of a blind persons journey he feels incompetent.  Because his 
> expectations of what he might be able to do are so low.  So when he meets 
> successful blind people, and when he compares his achievements to theirs, 
> how inadequate he must feel.  Then, some blind writer comes along and tells 
> him, he is looked upon by sighted people as being somehow weird.  Because he 
> rocks, or claps, or can't cook.  What must do to his motivation to even try. 
> Each blind person needs to be encouraged as much as is possible.  Never 
> causing him to think he is weird, or less than ordinary.  Regardless the 
> mannerisms he might exhibit.  I think those who take exception to seeing 
> blindness mannerisms are exhibiting a hatred of themselves.  Perhaps due to 
> their blindness.  They are the ones who need to examine themselves.  Rather 
> than criticizing those.  Who may not be as far along on their journey to be 
> all they are capable of  being.
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