[stylist] Emailing: obama.doc

[LoriStay at aol.com]

Although the advice about grammar is fine, I will ask that we keep our 
political opinions off list.   Thanks.
Lori
In a message dated 2/4/09 2:17:45 AM, n6yr at sunflower.com writes:


> dear Justin,
> I read your essay on Obama taking the Presidency.
> in a few places, you have sentences which are two thoughts long, that
> is, they should be two sentences instead of one.  in a couple places
> I noted where perhaps one sentence was appropriate but with a
> semicolon in the middle as a pivot.
> in just two places I thought your word choice was poor or
> unclear.  however, in too many sentences  there were cliche
> expressions or overused metaphors.
> 
> I also think you will have trouble getting this published because
> there really isn't much depth or detail to this.  for example, it
> confuses the work of slaves to build the Whitehouse with calling
> Barack Obama a black man or a black american, when he is not a child
> of american slavery.  his election is historic and
> important.  however, much of his speechifying is equally shallow and
> without detail, and to hook such a proclamation to his presidency at
> the end  is questionable.
> the "old guard" is one of the cliche terms, but you will note that
> the majority of Obama's appointments come from the Clinton era, and
> though his appointment for Attorney General is black, he helped
> defend the gunpoint returning of a six-year-old cuban boy to be
> brainwashed in Cuba.
> obviously, I am not a fam of Obama, and I didn't vote for him.
> the mainstream media has been writing puff-pieces on Obama since he
> emerged on the national stage.  the Los Angeles Times editorial
> called him "the magic negro" for being acceptable to white americans
> to vote for, but not being a child of american slavery.   it is
> historic that a Kenyan-american, the first man with dark skin, has
> become president.
> The most powerful child of american slavery in american government
> today is Clarance Thomas.
> 
> if you want to write on this topic, add some depth, some quotes, some
> facts the reader doesn't already know.
> good luck,
> jc
> 
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
> 
> At 07:44 AM 2/1/2009, you wrote:
> >I just wrote this as an inspirational piece for everyone.  Would you, my
> >fellow NFB writers extrordinaires, please give me your feedback.  I would
> >like to submit this to the black newspater, our daily paper, and maybe some
> >magazines.
> >Thank you, and All Hale the NFB.
> >Our cause goes marching on.
> >The message is ready to be sent with the following file or link 
> attachments:
> >
> >obama.doc
> >
> >
> >Note: To protect against computer viruses, e-mail programs may prevent
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> >
> >
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