[stylist] A deafbling girl (chapter 2)

[helene ryles]

Hi James and Judith,
I'm glad you liked my story.

The origin of the title is because Nadia disapoints her mom on three accounts:

She's born female when her mom wanted a son.
Shes a Duman instead of being magically able.
She's still deafblind despite having eye surgery and and a Cochlear implant.

It's not totally fixed though. If a better title came up and maybe
made it more publishable I'd go for it.

Helene.

On 06/09/2009, James Canaday M.A.  N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
> Helene,
> I was thinking about your book during my long walk with my dog this
> afternoon.
>
> I like your writing, it is engaging and vivid.  in fact, sometimes it
> seems likt it could use a little scene and landscape just to pace it
> a little, it moves so flat-out.  but that's not such a bad thing.
>
> my major comment is this: "a defblind girl" as a title?  I also like
> shorter titles.  but perhaps a title more tied to the magic, or the
> emotional struggles in the story would fit better and would better
> identify your story.
>
> I do not like long titles like: "Upon the upside of the towering rock
> in the town square, or: how I lost my sense of innocence and became
> an adult in the 20th century upon my 21st birthday in an accident ..."
> I was required to make my masters thesis title far clugier than I
> wanted.  I think its maybe fourteen words long!
>
> anyway, keep the simplicity of the title, but perhaps closer to the
> characters or the story?
>
> reads very well Helene!
>
> oh, I think "snuck" might be better in that one place than "sneaked."
> jc
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
> At 03:49 PM 9/5/2009, you wrote:
>>Chapter 2
>>First memories by Nadia Murat (1989)
>>
>>Where has Aunt Liza got to? She should be here by now, but she wasn't.
>>I lay huddled on my bedroom floor, feeling more anxious by the minute.
>>A wet and slightly abrasive tongue licks my face.  It was Bella the
>>Growlin Shepherd, a failed police dog who slept on the bottom bunk.
>>I let her continue to lick my face.  Then I wrapped my arms around her
>>large furry neck.
>>We were in a large spacious room full of toys and picture books.  I
>>had a bunk bed that I shared with Bella. She had the bottom bunk and I
>>slept in the top.
>>  We had been expecting Liza to arrive soon after my babysitter left
>>for the day, only she left hours ago.    Where on earth could my aunt
>>have got to?
>>My anxiety rose as the sun stopped shining from my small slit of a
>>bedroom window. We began to get very anxious.
>>My aunt did not come back that night.
>>Instead the dragon came.  He was about twelve foot long and four foot
>>high. His beautiful copper coloured skin had a lovely smooth texture
>>to it.  I usually loved to stroke him, but today I was too worried
>>about my aunt's failure to arrive.
>>"I want my auntie.  Where is she?" I demanded, stamping my foot.
>>Suddenly, an image of Liza flashed into my mind.   The image came from
>>the Dragon who was communicating to me using Dramic, which is a
>>telepathic language via words and images.
>>In this image I saw Liza in a whitewashed hallway full of sick people.
>>  She was lying down in a sort of large trolley.  There was something
>>wrong with her legs, which were at an odd angle.  She seemed to be in
>>a lot of pain.  I recognised that place.  I'd been there before but I
>>couldn't remember when.  I just remembered that it smelt strongly of
>>disinfectant and the well lit waiting room lights had hurt my eyes.
>>I next visualized a bowl of dog food.
>>"I can't eat that," I protested in sign language.
>>I visualized a little girl with an empty bowl.  The message ended with
>>a question mark.
>>"Ice-cream, candy and a large packet of cookies," I told him.  This
>>was not my usual diet but the dragon didn't seem to know this.  He
>>came back with the food I had asked for.  I shared the rest of the
>>cookies with Bella after she had finished her dog food.
>>The food distracted me for a short while, but once it had been eaten
>>my anxiety returned with renewed force.  What was wrong with my aunt's
>>legs?  Would she ever be ok again?  I was unable to get to sleep so I
>>began to pace from my bedroom to the toilet and back.  My stomach felt
>>very delicate.  I ended up returning most of the food that the dragon
>>had brought me in the toilet, which fortunately was next door to my
>>bedroom.
>>What would I do if Aunt Liza never came back?  Even Bella's furry form
>>was unable to pacify me for long.
>>
>>                       ***  ***  ***
>>
>>I woke to feel a scaly hand nudging me, handing me my aphakic glasses
>>which I wore firmly attached to my head by an elastic strap.   Another
>>large scaly hand wrapped itself around my chest, tugging me towards
>>him.  At that point I began to rise.  I looked up to see a large pair
>>of wings moving back and forth towards the ceiling.    The dragon took
>>me out of the door to the living room.  Like most doors in homes owned
>>by dragons, it was situated on the ceiling.
>>To my great relief, the dragon dropped me onto the thick green carpet,
>>in front of Aunt Liza.  She had returned at last.
>>I picked myself up, rushing to hug my aunt, who sat propped up with
>>various cushions on the floor.   Both her legs were covered with a
>>couple of large white plaster casts.
>>  Aunt Liza is very pretty, with light grey skin and long black curly
>>hair like mine.  She wore a loose red dress.  Around her neck she had
>>a black cylinder shape called a Monocular.  She used it to help her
>>see.
>>Today there was an anxious look in her dark brown eyes.  She put on a
>>bright smile when she saw me, but it did not stay on her face for
>>long.
>>"I was so worried about you last night," I complained using Darthrilan
>>sign language.
>>"Sorry Nadia.  Yesterday I did my parachute training.  Unfortunately I
>>messed up on the landing.  If you fetch me one of your picture books I
>>will read to you."
>>  "I don't want you to read from a picture book today. I want you to
>>tell me a real live story..."
>>My aunt gave an exasperated sigh.  She sat motionless for a few
>>minutes, deep in thought.
>>"Ok, I'll tell you a story then. I'll tell you how you came here in
>>the first place."
>>"Wasn't I born here?"
>>"No, you weren't.  You were born in a hospital somewhere in Darthrila.
>>  I forget which one, but after that your mother took you back to
>>Nazdonia with her.  You lived there until your triplet sisters were
>>born.  I took care of you while your mother was in hospital.  After
>>that I felt it necessary to rescue you"
>>"Why did you do that?"
>>"Your mother is a wicked witch.   You weren't being properly cared for
>>and she was forever hitting you and your sister, even then"
>>"Just one sister? I thought you said there were triplets?"
>>"That's right, but the other two triplets were being cared for by
>>other relatives as your mother didn't want them around.   Anyway your
>>sister died after your mother shook her. Unfortunately your mother
>>insisted on keeping you with her, and your father wasn't man enough to
>>protect you from her, so I had to do something about it"
>>"How?"
>>"You were in Darthrila at the time.  You were having your cochlear
>>implant.  Normally when you have a cochlear implant you don't get to
>>stay in hospital for so long as you did.  When I had my cochlear
>>implant, I only stayed overnight and went back home the following
>>morning.
>>"However, you were very small and malnourished with a lot of
>>suspicious looking bruising.  The audiologists considered your home
>>life in Nazdonia too unhealthy to recover in.   They were very
>>concerned about your mother's behaviour.  So you stayed in the
>>children's ward for several weeks.
>>"Your mother expected you to hear normally straight after you were
>>implanted.  When you obviously couldn't, she got very angry, demanding
>>a full refund.  She put the painful curse on several of the hospital
>>staff, and even threatened to curse their whole family if they didn't
>>pay up.  In the end she had to be dragged away by the police.  They
>>tried to press charges for harassment, but unfortunately your mother
>>has connections. My aunt Beria is the chief police officer.  Another
>>police officer is your mother's sister-in-law, P.C. Rickshaw.   Beria
>>and P.C. Rickshaw let family ties interfere with justice.  The staff
>>at the hospital felt they had a very raw deal.
>>  "So they were more then willing to help me get you away from your
>>mothers clutches.  Even without the bribe that I offered them.  They
>>lied to your mother about your activation day"
>>"What's that mean?"
>>"That's the day your cochlear implant gets switched on.  They have to
>>let your head heal first before they can expose you to sound.  That's
>>when you first start to hear.  Anyway they pretended your activation
>>day was a week later then it actually was.   A nurse sneaked you out
>>of the hospital.  She even helped me to board you onto Talmon's back
>>after you had been activated.  So I flew you here.
>>"Of course mother soon found out what had happened.  Luckily Talmon
>>was with me.  Talmon picked her up in his sharp claws and dropped her
>>into the sea.  The next time she paid us a visit Talmon kept blowing
>>jets of flames at her, until she agreed to leave our property..."
>>"She didn't get burnt?"
>>"No, she is a powerful witch, so she could put up a shielding charm,
>>to protect her body from the flames.  She has never been back with
>>Talmon guarding us, but I sense her waiting, biding her time to
>>strike, when Talmon is not around.
>>"Now that will have to do for a story today. I'm very tired.  I didn't
>>sleep too well in the hospital bed.  I was too worried about how you
>>and Talmon would cope without me.  Another thing, Talmon now knows
>>what human children eat, so you won't get away with omitting the salad
>>again."
>>
>>
>>                 ***  ***  ***
>>
>>
>>Aunt Liza spent a lot of time with me, while her legs were on the
>>mend.  She would read to me from picture books that all seemed to
>>feature flying children.    We would sit on the luxuriously thick
>>green carpet together.  Dragon living quarters are very spacious
>>affairs.  The room was the size of a large hall. The walls were lined
>>with large metal shelves.   The ceiling was so high that it was out of
>>my range of vision, and so were most of the top shelves.  Aunt Liza
>>told me that there were several hooks on the ceiling where things were
>>suspended from, including a giant hammock, where Liza and the dragon
>>sometimes lay together.
>>     I would be scribbling all over Liza's plaster casts when Talmon
>>came to sit right next to us on the carpet.   He watched Liza
>>intently, through half-closed yellow eyes.   His hands would reach out
>>and stroke my aunt's long curly black hair.  His hands were very
>>similar to human hands except for the scales.   His legs were short
>>and stubby with sharp claws at the end of his feet. Liza regularly
>>spent time trimming his claws. He had large bat-like wings that he
>>often stretched, creating a light breeze against my face.  When fully
>>stretched out his wings were twice as long as his body.    I used to
>>peer inquisitively at him, reaching out and stroking his beautiful
>>shiny back.    Aunt Liza would gaze adoringly at him.
>>At that point Bella would often remind us of her presence by pawing at
>>us.  So I stroked her as well.  I was so happy when we were all
>>together like this.
>>
>>              ***   ***  ***
>>
>>At other times my aunt would insist on speaking to me while using a
>>system that involved special hand movements called cued speech.  I
>>would have to peer into her face in order to read her lips.
>>  "I've been told not to use any sign language with you.  Beria says
>>you don't need sign language with your cochlear implant.  She wants
>>you to just rely on your cochlear implant to hear with.  What does she
>>know about it anyway? She doesn't wear a cochlear implant, like we
>>do."
>>"Who's Beria?" I asked, thinking the name sounded familiar. I decided
>>then and there that I didn't like Beria at all.
>>"She's my aunt, and her dragon is friends with Talmon.  She's got a
>>deafblind mother who doesn't use sign language, so she assumes the
>>rest of us shouldn't use it either.  I am going to show them all how
>>well you can do, with both systems.  You are not going to have to
>>strain to lip read and decipher cued speech all the time like I was
>>put through."
>>"I thought you said your Nanny was Deaf and used sign language?"
>>"Yes, that's right.  Talmon found Shania for me.  She is part of a big
>>deaf community in Nassoli where I used to live.  In Nassoli everyone
>>signs.  I could sign fluently and I was fully literate.
>>Unfortunately Beria didn't think much of my speech.   She said I
>>wouldn't ever amount to much unless I was taken away from that signing
>>environment.  She persuaded Talmon to have me taught orally at Druzil
>>School for the Deaf and the Blind.
>>"Lip-reading is all very well but it involves a lot of guess work.
>>Especially since I was born profoundly deaf and didn't get a cochlear
>>implant until I was eighteen as they didn't exist while I was growing
>>up. Even now with my cochlear implant, I still need to lip read.
>>There are also times when I have to remove the speech processor to
>>stop it getting damaged, like when I do my parachute training.    I
>>find the instructions too hard to understand when I'm trying to
>>decipher their lip patterns.   I get so lost that they may as well be
>>using a foreign language.  No wonder I got the instructions wrong and
>>end up in hospital with two broken legs"
>>
>>                              ***  ***  **
>>
>>
>>In the early hours of the morning Aunt Liza shook me awake.   She gave
>>me some clothes and my hearing devices to wear.  I then had to climb
>>down a ladder into the basement where most of the dogs lived.
>>"Beauty, Bramble and Beans aren't quite as soft as Bella," my aunt
>>signed, "Bella's exceptionally good with children, which is why I
>>trust her to spend so much time in your company.  They can be trusted
>>but I would rather you kept your distance.   Don't try to hug or
>>cuddle them and they should be okay.   I've had Beauty for a long
>>time. She's quite old now.     The others are all failed police dogs.
>>Bella, Bramble and Beans failed because they were too soft.  It's not
>>what they are looking for in a police dog.   My other three are more
>>aggressive.  I'm keeping you out of their way until you are older.  I
>>had another dog when I was younger, but your mother set fire to her."
>>"Why did she do that?" I asked.  I was quite horrified at the idea.
>>"Because she's a cruel hearted monster, that's why. Let's go."
>>  Like most homes in Darthrila, the main entrance was situated on the roof.
>>  There was a second way out through a dog flap and down a narrow
>>tunnel in the basement, which the dogs and I used to crawl through.
>>This led to an outdoor dog run.  I could see nothing at all in the
>>darkness outside.  I took a few careful steps forward.  My
>>outstretched hand reached a wire mesh fence.  I trailed my hand along
>>the fence until I could feel the wrought iron gate.   I sniffed the
>>smells from the nearby beach, while I waited for Liza to get there.
>>Normally the sea air delighted me, but today I felt sad, thinking
>>about the poor murdered dog.
>>Aunt Liza was too big to get out of the dog flap.   She used to abseil
>>down from the roof instead.
>>I felt a sense of relief when Liza's hand touched mine.  When Aunt
>>Liza had told me about my mother burning Liza's dog it reminded me of
>>the other story, about how I had needed to be rescued.  The more I
>>thought about it, the more fretful I became.
>>As Liza opened the gate, I felt several furry bodies squeezing past
>>me.  Liza said something I didn't hear, because of the sound of
>>seagulls and the crashing of waves.  Then the dogs started barking.
>>"Could you please repeat that," I asked, reaching for her hands so I
>>could feel what she was signing.
>>"I was talking to the dogs.  What's the matter Nadia?" Liza said.  As
>>it was so dark she was using tactile sign language.   A system where I
>>lightly touched her hands while she signed, so I could feel what she
>>was signing to me.
>>"You said mother set fire to one of your dogs.  Would she set fire to me
>> too?"
>>"She won't get the chance, while you are here with me.  You are safe
>>right now; Talmon is watching us from the roof.  He's guarding us..."
>>I hoped my aunt was right.
>>"What if she set fire to Talmon?"
>>"Killing a dragon is a capital offence in Darthrila.  The police would
>>come and execute her.   Even Beria's influence wouldn't help for an
>>offence as serious as that. There would be one wicked witch less in
>>the world. Wouldn't that be great?"
>>We both held on to a dog each.  They led us for a walk along the sandy
>>beach, which was not far from where we lived.    I could feel the cold
>>wet sand under my bare feet.
>>"Quick! Get under this blanket.  I think I can hear someone coming" My
>>aunt signed. I felt my aunt's hands shake as she signed in frantic
>>jerky movements.
>>"I thought you said Talmon..."
>>"Never mind Talmon, you could be dead by the time he gets to us" she
>>told me.    She grabbed me in quivering hands, and pushed me under a
>>coarse blanket which smelt strongly of dogs.  I sensed her fear as we
>>waited for whoever it was to leave.
>>
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