[stylist] Revised part of chapter 5

[Judith Bron]

Sounds better.  Thanks, Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 9:54 PM
Subject: [stylist] Revised part of chapter 5


> I've now deleted the part in chapter 5 that I think offended people
> (Judith anyway) so now the paragraph just reads:
>
> "One girl tried to show her more tolerance, but she freaked out when
> Liza started talking about how much she loved her dragon, and what
> they did together.    (I think it was that kind of talk that persuaded
> Arielle to bring Liza back to us in the first place)."
>
> I hope that's better and people carry on wanting to read it.
>
> Helene
>
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