[stylist] Angels Light Chapter One

Judith Bron jbron at optonline.net
Mon Sep 21 04:10:41 UTC 2009


I'm still trying to figure out where you are going with this.  Anyways, do a 
spell check on it.  There are several places where the spelling is abysmal. 
Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <kec92 at ourlink.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, September 19, 2009 12:57 PM
Subject: [stylist] Angels Light Chapter One


>
> Hi everyone,
>
> I've been staarting to writting a book myself.  I would like some
> feed back to see what I need to improve and what's good as it is.  If
> you could help me, that would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you,
>
> Keitei Colton
> Part One
>
> Night
>
> A night that's filled with despair,
>
> so deep that no hope is possible.
>
> So far flung that it seems
>
> An impossibility that it will be found,
>
> Total despair takes over,
>
> Until we are fed up with grief and rage,
>
> Rage for the light to return.
>
> But the hope never will.
>
> The rage only creates sparks,
>
> Until no emotion can be felt.
>
> Finally content with the world,
>
> The light starts to return,
>
> There's hope once again.
>
> Chapter One
>
> The End
>
> Fear filled the night: the night was supposed to be peaceful, until
> the mayhem ensued.  Some people would live on in the village of
> Potevka in the morning, and others would not.  The life of one
> sixteen-year-old boy would change forever.
>
> Quick breath, pounding heart, and adrenaline rushing through his
> body, Angelus pushed his body harder and faster.  The fear of what
> was behind him was overwhelmingly Terrifying.
>
> The snow was lightly falling on this Christmas night.  The streets
> were quiet and filled with a little bit of snow.  Angelus burst out
> of his house running.  He had He had no idea where the monster was,
> but he only wished that his angel would save him.
>
> This angel of his was different from the ones painted in the
> pictures.
>
> She was tall with a slight tan. Her long blackish-brown hair reached
> to the backs of her knees. She wore black leggings, a fur shirt and a
> corn stalk cap.  There was something primative about her that Angelus
> couldn't explain.  Nameless, she stood for him around the corner.
>
> A blast of wind and snow shot angelus in the face.  When he could
> open his eyes again, she was gone. It was just and allusion, he had
> to keep running, running, running... He would have to forget why his
> angel disappeared on him. He had to forget that he would die soon.
> All that he would be able to remember was his name and the languages
> that he spoke to keep himself alive.  The winters here were harsh.
>
> He shivered as he ran in his woolen night gown.  He needed to wait,
> or run. He couldn't wait until the sun rose above the horizon.  That
> would be a while.  The sun had just set a couple of hours ago.
>
> Looking over his shoulder, Angelus checked to see if he was being
> followed.  His breath caught as he saw a silhouette of a figure
> behind him, coming up fast.
>
> Something made Angelus stumble and fall headlong onto a cobble stone
> street.  Blood filled his mouth.  Struggling not to scream and cry out
> in pain, and fear for his life, he didn't want others to share his
> fate.  He pushed himself onto his back.  The monster was on top of
> him, teeth bared, growling hungrily.  The wind blew in gusts.   Every
> time the wind picked up, Angelus' hair moved momentarily in front of
> his eyes.  His heart picked up speed as it leaned in.
>
> This is it, I'm gonna die, thought Angelus.  I'm going to die on
> this most holy of nights.
>
> A grunt brought Angelus' eyes flying open with surprise, wanting to
> know what was going on.  He just saw the sky starting to clear up
> above him the twinkling of an occational star, and the walls of the
> houses where he'd fallen.  He pushed himself up on his elbows.  The
> creature had left him.  He knew that his angel wouldn't, no couldn't
> have done that.  Was it a trick?  Would it come back?  Was any of
> this for real?
>
> Their numbers were growing in masses each ay.  This place was
> Angelus' last hope of not being in danger.  But that frail shell of
> hope had shattered tonight.  The world had changed dso completely,
> but very little physically had changed.
>
> The terror was still there, same with the turning of the world.  The
> only thing that had changed was that Angelus had survived.  He was
> grateful for watever had saved him.  When he looked around him, he
> saw that another one of them was there, behind him.  A new pang of
> fear shot through angelus. But when he opened his eyes, he did a
> double take.  It was his Angel!
>
> "How did you find me? Did you save me from that monster?" Angelus
> demanded excittedly of his angel.
>
> "I am one of those you fear: but I will never hurt you," she said in
> a soft sigh that sounded off, like she wasn't a native speaker.  She
> walked past him.  Her movements were flowing into one another.
>
> "Wait! Angelus cried in desperation.  "Don't leave me!"  Hysteria
> was shaking his body.
>
> "Are you not afraid of a monster like me? she with wariness, almost
> dead,  in her tone.
>
> "No."
>
> "You should be."
>
> "Why?"
>
> Because I'm not the person you are looking for. I am merely just a
> guide."
>
> "You're much more than that to me.  I hope every day that I see you
> again.  I am in much agony when you are gone."
>
> "I am a wanderer, a nomad of sorts: I never stay in one place for
> very long."
>
> "But you've been here for a generation, watching over us."
>
> "That's because I've been waiting for you, little dreamer."
>
> "Why?"
>
> "You are different than everybody else."
>
> "I'm not different, nor am I a dreamer."
>
> "Don't do that to yourself. It'll help you look at life."
>
> "Just don't leave."
>
> "I won't leave you, Angelus.  Let me help you up."  She extended her
> hand, offering the help.
>
> Angelus grasped her glove covered hand and got up.
>
> "I don't think that hyou're a monsterous being," said Angelus
> plainly.
>
> "You don't believe me?" the pretty woman asked.
>
> "That's right. I just can't see you being evil." he told her.
>
> "you shouldn't have said that." She smiled without much energy to
> it.
>
> "How?"
>
> "There is one thing you should know first."
>
> "What?"
>
> "I am a super breed of this monster."
>
> "Huh? I don't understand what you're trying to say to me."
>
> "You will not be able to go back to your family. Cany you accept
> that?"
>
> "Huh?"
>
> "Say goodbye to your old life, and prepare for a new one."
>
> She leaned forward slowly.  The features of her face were slightly
> distorted from her lips pulling back over her teeth.
>
> "What are you doing?" Angelus didn't want to hurt the worman, but he
> was confused why she was acting so strange.
>
> The swiftness of her teeth sank into the veins of his neck.  The
> venom didn't hurt, but the blood pumping up circulation to his head
> went faster, and dripped onto the snow.  The woman laid him down
> gently, sitting down by his head.  his conscious faltered and fell
> into blackness that enjulfed so completely.  The deed was done, and
> there was no going back.
> _______________________________________________
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