[stylist] Punctuation question

[James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR]

improved, more positive and direct, I like the start now.  minor 
style issue: too many whiches.

jc

At 11:08 AM 5/25/2010, you wrote:
>Thank you guys. I have reworked it as follows:
>
>We will see the tremendous positive impact which being a contributing member
>of something which is affecting all of humanity for the better has had on my
>life.
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>Behalf Of Priscilla McKinley
>Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 7:29 AM
>To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [stylist] Punctuation question
>
>While the commas are placed correctly and the sentence is grammatically
>correct, it is very wordy.  Why not be to the point and
>write:
>
>Being a contributing member of (name of organization), which is effecting
>all of humanity for the better, has impacted my life.
>
>Or even better:
>
>My life has changed by being a member of (name of organization), which is
>(be specific in the ways the organization is changing humanity, as that is
>too broad).
>
>JMO,
>
>Priscilla
>
>
>
>
>On 5/25/10, Donna Hill <penatwork at epix.net> wrote:
> > Hi Angela,
> > I would use dashes, and according to Lori's comments on Paul's work,
> > that should be correct since the phrase is in the middle of the sentence.
> > Donna
> >
> > Donna's articles on Suite 101:
> > http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
> >
> > Free Download: "Love of My Life"
> > http://www.passionsandpossibilities.com/guest-blogger-donna-hill-advoc
> > ate-for-the-blind/
> >
> > Read my articles on American Chronicle:
> > http://www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885
> >
> > Follow me on Twitter:
> > www.twitter.com/dewhill
> >
> > Join Me on LinkedIn:
> > http://www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
> >
> > Or,  FaceBook:
> > http://www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.
> >
> > Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
> > http://cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
> >
> > Apple I-Tunes
> >
> > phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244
> > 374
> >
> > Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> > www.padnfb.org
> >
> >
> >
> > Angela Fowler wrote:
> >> Hey guys, is this sentence punctuated correctly?
> >>
> >> "We will see that belonging to an organization, being a contributing
> >> member of something which is effecting all of humanity for the
> >> better, has had a tremendous impact on my life."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> I'm wondering if the commas should be replaced with something else?
> >>
> >> thanks
> >>
> >> Angela
> >>
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Writers Division web site:
> >> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> >> <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >>
> >> stylist mailing list
> >> stylist at nfbnet.org
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> >> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> >> stylist:
> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/penatwork%40
> >> epix.net
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> =======
> >> Email scanned by PC Tools - No viruses or spyware found.
> >> (Email Guard: 7.0.0.18, Virus/Spyware Database: 6.15060)
> >> http://www.pctools.com/ =======
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > =======
> > Email scanned by PC Tools - No viruses or spyware found.
> > (Email Guard: 7.0.0.18, Virus/Spyware Database: 6.15060)
> > http://www.pctools.com/ =======
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Writers Division web site:
> > http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
> > <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
> >
> > stylist mailing list
> > stylist at nfbnet.org
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
> > To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> > stylist:
> > http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/priscilla.mck
> > inley%40gmail.com
> >
>
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/fowlers%40syix.com
>
>
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/n6yr%40sunflower.com