[stylist] Donna's synopsis revised after Anita's comments

[Anita Adkins]

sounds much better, but why do they travel in the ship disguised in a cloud? 
Is this to reach the "Castle of Bar Gundoom"; I guess that to me this event 
of flying seems as if it needs a reason, though it does make the story sound 
interesting.  Your description is much more organized this time.  Anita
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, November 06, 2010 6:58 PM
Subject: [stylist] Donna's synopsis revised after Anita's comments


> Hi Anita,
> Thanks for the feedback. That sentence was a bit unwieldy, and I revised 
> the last one. See what you think of this.
> Block quote
>
> 14-year-old refugees Abigail and Baggy live with guardians, while 
> attending an unusual private school in Applebutter Hill., Abigail is a 
> songwriter, who dreams of stardom while dealing with failing eyesight. 
> Baggy is a photographer who likes working with cars and wood. During 
> summer break, they travel in a flying ship disguised as a cloud. As 
> uninvited guests in the Castle of Bar Gundoom, they learn of plans to 
> steal a powerful sapphire from their new school. They escape to Satori 
> Green where giant Chrysanthemums take them to Anbata's Well for guidance. 
> Rutherford, a grumpy acorn, offers to help. Efforts to unravel the mystery 
> bring them face to face with the stone itself and an armed stranger. 
> Abigail's guide dog, Curly Connor, provides clues that uncover the spy. 
> Concern about bullying leads to a secret surveillance plan.
>
> Block quote end
> Thanks,
> Donna
>
> -- 
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