[stylist] synopsis assistance please

Tue Jan 18 19:17:11 UTC 2011

I would take out the words demand and dragging.  Also, a laxitive?  What 
does this have to do with blindness?  You have a great story, but I'm not 
sure about some of the points you make.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anita Adkins" <aadkins7 at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 1:38 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis assistance please


> Thanks. I am pasting another version below. Is this too much detail about 
> what happens? Also, does this make anyone want to read the story because, 
> if not, I must rewrite the synopsis altogether?
>
> It's more than just brotherly love that motivates Cody Dallas to protect 
> and defend his twin brother. In Cody's mind, the accident that left Joey 
> blind wouldn't have occurred if it weren't for Cody's selfish actions. His 
> duty is to suffer any consequences this horrible situation presents, and 
> most of all, to do whatever it takes to keep his brother safe. As a 
> result, Cody must devise a plan that will keep the blind stranger, who 
> shows up at their house demanding Joey go to a special camp for blind 
> kids, from dragging Joey away. The adults in Cody's life keep telling him 
> that the camp is just what Joey needs to live a happy and healthy life. 
> But, Cody's fears and misconceptions about the abilities of the blind 
> combined with his guilt are too strong for him to ignore.
> When telling the adults that going to camp is not the right thing for Joey 
> fails to work, Cody decides the two brothers must run away. After this 
> attempt is thwarted, Cody feels he must follow through with the only 
> option he sees left, to give his twin brother a laxative he has witnessed 
> his Dad take on occasion. He only agrees to visit the camp after this 
> incident also turns out different from what he predicts, and it is this 
> visit that finally convinces him that going to camp is the best thing for 
> his twin brother. On the way home from camp, Cody's parents tell him of 
> their decision to send him to a counselor to help him come to terms with 
> the fact that Joey's blindness is not his fault. Though he hates the idea, 
> Cody goes and realizes he is not guilty for making his brother blind.
>
> Again, thanks in advance for any assistance. Anita
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 12:23 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis assistance please
>
>
>> Hi Anita,
>> I like this. You might want to add a little more detail about the end of 
>> the story. I read somewhere that you're not supposed to withhold that 
>> from your publisher. As far as making it in the tone you write in for 
>> children ... I think that's a delicate balance, since the reader of your 
>> query is an adult. This seems to be the right tone to me.
>> Donna
>>
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>>
>> On 1/18/2011 11:33 AM, Anita Adkins wrote:
>>> Hello everyone,
>>>
>>> I have written a short story, and one of the publisher's I am interested 
>>> in submitting too requires a cover letter. Upon some basic research, I 
>>> have learned that a cover letter should contain a synopsis of the story. 
>>> My question is should this synopsis sound the same as it would if I were 
>>> giving it to children? For ex., in the one I am pasting below, you will 
>>> see the words wrong belief. At first, I had written misconception here, 
>>> but young children may not know what that word means. Any ideas and 
>>> suggestions are appreciated. Thanks in advance for any assistance. Sorry 
>>> about it sounded as if it is a link. I am not sure why it chose to do 
>>> this.
>>>
>>> It's more than just brotherly love that motivates Cody Dallas to protect 
>>> and defend his twin brother. In Cody's mind, the accident that left Joey 
>>> blind wouldn't have occurred if it weren't for Cody's selfish actions. 
>>> His duty is to suffer any consequences this horrible situation presents, 
>>> and most of all, to do whatever it takes to keep his brother safe. As a 
>>> result, Cody must devise a plan that will keep the blind stranger who 
>>> shows up at their house demanding Joey go to a special camp for blind 
>>> kids from dragging Joey away. The adults in Cody's life keep telling him 
>>> that the camp is just what Joey needs to live a happy and healthy life. 
>>> But, Cody's fears and wrong beliefs about the abilities of the blind 
>>> combined with his guilt are too strong for him to ignore.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Anita
>>>
>>> Remember, Jesus Loves You.
>>> Anita Adkins
>>> 81 E. Mechanic ST
>>> APT 207
>>> Frostburg, MD 21532
>>> p: 301-689-5212
>>> c: 301-876-8669
>>> aadkins7 at verizon.net
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
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