[stylist] The Dark rewrite 1

[Eve Sanchez]

Hi, you said something about quotes that is making me ask a question that
will probably make me look like a total fool. How do you do quotes? I have
read them for many years and now that I cannot look at the written page dang
if I can remember what they look like. What I am thinking is quotation,
text, quotation, comma, she/he said. Is there a good source for learning the
proper way to punctuate these things that is accessable? Would love your
input here. Thanks, Eve

On Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 4:36 PM, Brenda <bjnite at windstream.net> wrote:

> HiAshley
>
> Thank you for the quick response.  I like it better too and I imagine by
> the time it is done it will be even better.
>
> Still can't figure out why there are no spaces after periods.  I do acut
> and paste and all looks fine before I send it.  There's got to be a setting
> somewhere but I have no idea what it might be.
>
> Brenda
>
>
>
> On 10/12/2011 4:52 PM, Ashley Bramlett wrote:
>
>> Brenda,
>> Nice descriptions. I like this version better. It captures the seen of the
>> room better.
>> Ashley
>>
>> -----Original Message----- From: Brenda
>> Sent: Wednesday, October 12, 2011 4:22 PM
>> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
>> Subject: [stylist] The Dark rewrite 1
>>
>> Thanks to everyone who gave me input on my project.    I reworked the
>> piece based on your comments. I probably missed a few of your
>> suggestions, but I wasn't deliberately ignoring them, there was just a
>> lot of flipping between emails and documents. I probably did not do
>> quotes correctly yet, but I can focus on that more in the future.
>> Hopefully this time the spaces after periods will show up.
>>
>> The Dark
>>
>> The recipe almost blew out of my hand as I ran into the house to show
>> off my very first cooking project for Home Economics.My mother took the
>> wrinkled paper, studied it and remarked "you probably won't like Rosy
>> apples."Snatching the recipe I stomped to my bedroom and slammed the
>> door.At thirteen I could not remember a time when my mother had not
>> decided how I felt or what I liked.It all started when I was a toddler
>> and my mother decided I was not afraid of the dark.
>>
>> As a baby I could barely see the sunlight.Several surgeries brought
>> lights, colors and shapes into view by age two, but my world was still a
>> collage of sights and sounds.During the day I played with my older
>> brother outside in the bright sunlight.On rainy days we stayed indoors
>> where the sound of my mother cleaning the house or my baby brother
>> crying filled the air.When I heard "Time for lunch" or the honk of a car
>> horn I knew the shadowy figures in the room were my parents.My waking
>> world was filled with sights and sounds that guided me through the
>> fog.No monster would dare lurk in this bustling household.
>>
>> At night my world was a dark, dreary place.My two brothers and I were
>> crammed into one small bedroom in our two-bedroom home.The silence was
>> only broken by the noise of the monster lurking somewhere.My brothers
>> were asleep in their beds, and I didn't know where my parents
>> were.Something had to be done before the monster came and got
>> me.Creeping to the bedroom door, I saw the glowing lamplight but only
>> heard a muffled hum."Oh no, the monster is here" I concluded.
>>
>> Slamming the door shut I ran back to my bed and pulled the covers over
>> my head."Hey, open the door" shrieked my older brother when he awoke to
>> a dark room with no beam of light to comfort him. "Quiet down in there"
>> yelled my dad without moving from his chair.Thump, thump, thump sounded
>> on the basement stairs as mom came to see what the commotion was
>> about.Instead of yelling at me for upsetting my brother and not going to
>> sleep, my mother opened our bedroom door and remarked to my father
>> "She's not afraid of the dark because she can't see."
>>
>> "The monster can't get me with my mom and dad so close" I decided and
>> fell asleep before my fear returned.
>>
>> This story was told all through my childhood as proof that I was not
>> afraid of the dark.It would do no good to explain the terror I felt
>> inside.Just once, I wish my mother had been right.
>>
>>
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