[stylist] The Dark rewrite 1

Mon Oct 24 01:23:12 UTC 2011

Good example Brad. Maybe I'll take that course.
Here is what I said to Eve.

Eve,
Can you read braille? If not, you can get jaws to speak all punctuation or 
any screen reader.
I wonder the same thing. I am not always sure when to place punctuation 
within a quote. You usually do though.
As Brad said Hadley school for the blind, a distance ed service, has a 
course on punctuation.

I usually put the person’s name first and then the quote to end the 
sentence. In this case, I think the punctuation goes in the quote. But if 
you say she/he said at the end, you put a comma and then closed quote.  Hope 
its right.

So examples:
“I’m so hungry for dinner. I can’t wait until we have my favorit dish of 
lasagna and garlic bread tonight. I smell the aroma,” said Amy who was 
peering in the kitchen at her mother.

Her mother said, “It won’t be long, darling. We’re waiting for it to finish 
cooking and your father to arrive. But you will have it within fifteen 
minutes.”

I haven’t read in a while either. I’m actually waiting on a book from the 
library now. I usually read by talking book or other audio form and you do 
not get the punctuation that way.
Ashley

-----Original Message----- 
From: Brad Dunse'
Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2011 8:50 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] The Dark rewrite 1

Hadley School has a course on punctuation which oddly enough, the
assignment I'm on deals with it :). For instance...  "How do you do
quotes?" asked Eve. Or Brad said, "Eve from the Stylist discussion
group had asked, 'How do you do quotes?'" Anyway it is a very good
basic course.

Brad

On 10/23/2011  05:43 PM Eve Sanchez said...
>Hi, you said something about quotes that is making me ask a question that
>will probably make me look like a total fool. How do you do quotes? I have
>read them for many years and now that I cannot look at the written page 
>dang
>if I can remember what they look like. What I am thinking is quotation,
>text, quotation, comma, she/he said. Is there a good source for learning 
>the
>proper way to punctuate these things that is accessable? Would love your
>input here. Thanks, Eve
>
>On Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 4:36 PM, Brenda <bjnite at windstream.net> wrote:
>
> > HiAshley
> >
> > Thank you for the quick response.  I like it better too and I imagine by
> > the time it is done it will be even better.
> >
> > Still can't figure out why there are no spaces after periods.  I do acut
> > and paste and all looks fine before I send it.  There's got to be a 
> > setting
> > somewhere but I have no idea what it might be.
> >
> > Brenda
> >
> >
> >
> > On 10/12/2011 4:52 PM, Ashley Bramlett wrote:
> >
> >> Brenda,
> >> Nice descriptions. I like this version better. It captures the seen of 
> >> the
> >> room better.
> >> Ashley
> >>
> >> -----Original Message----- From: Brenda
> >> Sent: Wednesday, October 12, 2011 4:22 PM
> >> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> >> Subject: [stylist] The Dark rewrite 1
> >>
> >> Thanks to everyone who gave me input on my project.    I reworked the
> >> piece based on your comments. I probably missed a few of your
> >> suggestions, but I wasn't deliberately ignoring them, there was just a
> >> lot of flipping between emails and documents. I probably did not do
> >> quotes correctly yet, but I can focus on that more in the future.
> >> Hopefully this time the spaces after periods will show up.
> >>
> >> The Dark
> >>
> >> The recipe almost blew out of my hand as I ran into the house to show
> >> off my very first cooking project for Home Economics.My mother took the
> >> wrinkled paper, studied it and remarked "you probably won't like Rosy
> >> apples."Snatching the recipe I stomped to my bedroom and slammed the
> >> door.At thirteen I could not remember a time when my mother had not
> >> decided how I felt or what I liked.It all started when I was a toddler
> >> and my mother decided I was not afraid of the dark.
> >>
> >> As a baby I could barely see the sunlight.Several surgeries brought
> >> lights, colors and shapes into view by age two, but my world was still 
> >> a
> >> collage of sights and sounds.During the day I played with my older
> >> brother outside in the bright sunlight.On rainy days we stayed indoors
> >> where the sound of my mother cleaning the house or my baby brother
> >> crying filled the air.When I heard "Time for lunch" or the honk of a 
> >> car
> >> horn I knew the shadowy figures in the room were my parents.My waking
> >> world was filled with sights and sounds that guided me through the
> >> fog.No monster would dare lurk in this bustling household.
> >>
> >> At night my world was a dark, dreary place.My two brothers and I were
> >> crammed into one small bedroom in our two-bedroom home.The silence was
> >> only broken by the noise of the monster lurking somewhere.My brothers
> >> were asleep in their beds, and I didn't know where my parents
> >> were.Something had to be done before the monster came and got
> >> me.Creeping to the bedroom door, I saw the glowing lamplight but only
> >> heard a muffled hum."Oh no, the monster is here" I concluded.
> >>
> >> Slamming the door shut I ran back to my bed and pulled the covers over
> >> my head."Hey, open the door" shrieked my older brother when he awoke to
> >> a dark room with no beam of light to comfort him. "Quiet down in there"
> >> yelled my dad without moving from his chair.Thump, thump, thump sounded
> >> on the basement stairs as mom came to see what the commotion was
> >> about.Instead of yelling at me for upsetting my brother and not going 
> >> to
> >> sleep, my mother opened our bedroom door and remarked to my father
> >> "She's not afraid of the dark because she can't see."
> >>
> >> "The monster can't get me with my mom and dad so close" I decided and
> >> fell asleep before my fear returned.
> >>
> >> This story was told all through my childhood as proof that I was not
> >> afraid of the dark.It would do no good to explain the terror I felt
> >> inside.Just once, I wish my mother had been right.
> >>
> >>
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Brad Dunse

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