[stylist] king peeley and the integra tea: writing suggestion

Tue Jan 17 20:15:56 UTC 2012

another way to add life to the story is to bring in descriptions that let us 
see, smell, taste, touch, and hear...the characters, the setting, and the 
time of day and place.  Lynda
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Cc: "Nebraska Bridget Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 10:29 AM
Subject: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea: writing suggestion


> Vejas
>
> Do you recall some earlier posts by Chris and Bridgit (and a few other
> folks), in which they advised that to make a story be more alive, the 
> author
> has to make the characters show us, tell us by their actions? Versus the
> author spending time telling us what the characters are doing and why. You
> have a good story-line here, but dude --- you get in the way of your 
> people
> coming alive and showing us who they are and what they can do! Like WOW, 
> you
> get on to this little tweak, and you'll get people knocking down your door
> to get the next installment.
>
> (Ask Chris and/or Bridgit direct for a copy of what they wrote on the 
> list.)
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of vejas
> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 12:16 AM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea (changes prompt)
>
> Hey Robert,
> Maybe it's that it summarizes more what happens to the characters than
> actually making the characters come alive as much as it should? Like, 
> there
> isn't much interaction between Queen Amina and her children, it more just
> summarizes what's happened with them.
> I guess?
>
>
> By the way, I got an 85-not my best-on the folk-tale.  There was stuff 
> like
> clothes which I wouldn't have normally put but had to put for the
> requirements.  I'm thinking I may have done better if it had been my 
> English
> teacher.  That's what makes me weird.
> There's a camel diary thing I had to do in seventh grade also, and I was 
> so
> entranced in the characters and writing it that I forgot to put in the
> beginning about the camel's features that is has a hump, which is, like so
> basic.  I can send it here if you're interested, but you may need to keep
> track of NAMES.  (one of my main weaknesses)
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: Mon,
> 16 Jan 2012 20:38:16 -0500
> Subject: Re: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea (changes
> prompt)
>
> Hey Vejas,
> Donna Hill here.  There is a lot of literature from a long time ago that 
> is
> as realistic as anything written nowadays.  People are pretty much the 
> same
> throughout the ages.  They may have different things in their 
> environments,
> but the basic human emotions and struggles are constant throughout 
> history.
> Whether it's the Bible, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, the Old English poem
> Beowulf or the Dickens and Twain novels of the 19th century, something
> always rings true for modern readers.  I guess this is my way of saying 
> that
> I think you should give Robert's question another think, and don't use the
> setting of your story as an excuse.
> Donna
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of vejas
> Sent: Monday, January 16, 2012 6:22 PM
> To: newmanrl at cox.net; Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea (changes
> prompt)
>
> I guess cuz it takes place a long time ago, the characters may not be as
> realistic?
> Vchjas
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org Date sent: Mon,
> 16 Jan 2012 16:26:53 -0600
> Subject: Re: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea (changes
> prompt)
>
> Young mister V
> RE: a challenge
>
> You are a very creative thinker.  Your story about king  Peeley is a story
> more about a story, rather then a story that happens in real time with
> characters moving, breathing and doing what you say they did.
> What do you
> think I mean? (I'm one of your biggest fans)
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of vejas
> Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 9:58 AM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org; bpollpeter at hotmail.com
> Subject: [stylist] king peeley and the integra tea (changes
> prompt)
>
> This story has to do more with personality change.  Since I have lots 
> going
> on, I don't have time to make a new one.  I wrote this in seventh grade 
> for
> social studies and expanded upon it.
> Suggestions for changes to the writing are more than welcome.
> Vejas
> PS I think my personality change might be a bit unrealistic.
> Bridgit, feel free to comment to the list.
>
>
>
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