[stylist] Eve's Writing prompt

[Eve Sanchez]

Chris, First I agree that that should have been a comma and do not know why
it isn't. Now; (semi-colon meant) I have no idea what an op-ed is. That is
my issue. I write things that come out of me and do not know what they are
(if they in fact need to be labeled). I just write. I heard talk of essays
and thought that sounded the best label. That does not mean I was striving
to write an essay. It just means I do not know what you writer people would
call it. haha  Well, thanks for reading. Eve

On Thu, Nov 8, 2012 at 6:12 AM, Chris Kuell <ckuell at comcast.net> wrote:

> Hi Eve,
>
> Your piece is filled with passion, which is always good. I actually agree
> with what Bridgit wrote, that I'd like to see some quotes to illustrate the
> claims you mentioned, but that somewhat depends on what your purpose in
> writing is. When I read a piece like this, the professional writer in me
> thinks -- this would make a good op-ed piece, and I want some quotes and
> references to back it up. But, for a blog post, what you wrote is fine.
>
> One thing I think you could work on is semi-colons. You use a lot of them,
> too many in my opinion. For example, you wrote:
> If we wish to be led by a Bishop; we need to go to church, not become one.
> I'd suggest using a comma there instead of a semi-colon, or use a period
> and make it 2 sentences:
> If we wish to be led by a Bishop, we need to go to church. Not become one.
>
> I think this is a powerful sentence, and you may even want to end the
> piece with it. Nice job.
>
> chris
>
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