[stylist] Learning Project Writing Plays

[Aine Kelly-Costello]

Hi Keitei,

I really like this script , good job! I agree with Chris 
though-would like to see what happens! Just one minor thing I 
noticed: the description of what Katharine is doing sometimes 
jumps into the past tense, accidentally, it seems.  I am 
referring to this part:
?
Katharine walked in circles around the small living room.  It 
looked like pacing.  Finally, she takes a seat on the couch.  The 
microwave dings and Katharine jumps up.  She rushed to the 
microwave and opens the door.  Inside the microwave sat a mug of 
tea.

?

Good work though!


Aine

----- Original Message -----
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net
To: <kec92 at ourlink.net>, "Writer's Division Mailing List" 
<stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 22 Nov 2012 19:05:09 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] Learning Project Writing Plays

Hey Keitei,

Thanks for sharing your script so far.  My first comment is that 
I was
disappointed it ended! I was getting into it, and yet it isn't 
finished.  It
strikes me as a solid start, and obviously covers a deep, 
important topic.  I
did see a couple of minor typos, and I wondered why, in act 2, 
Angel needed
to toss the rock at Catharine's window, since Angel had already 
called on
the phone.  My other comment is that I'd like to see more 
character
development, although if this is a 5 or even 10 minute play, 
there's not a
lot of time for that.  You might want to make it longer.

On a side note, yet related to your play and the youtube video 
you sent,
have you ever seen 'Dog Sees God'? I went to see it last spring 
at our
community theatre, and it was probably the most powerful show 
I've ever
seen.  At our theatre, they ended with the actors reading bios of 
young
people who have committed suicide over being bullied about their 
sexual
orientation.  I don't think a single person in the audience or on 
stage
wasn't crying when they finished.  It's a tragedy that quite 
simply has to
stop.

Thanks for sharing,

chris



_______________________________________________
Writers Division web site
http://www.writers-division.net/
stylist mailing list
stylist at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
for stylist:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/ainekc%40orc
on.net.nz