[stylist] Taking the Fall for Federationism

[Lynda Lambert]

I agree. I kept imagining how this would sound if presented in the third 
person - you cover a lot of "ground" in the piece, and using the third 
person would give you the kind of pace that would be more accurate and 
comfortable for the reader.  By using the first person, you get a sense of 
urgency, but I don't think that was your intention here. I think you wanted 
to keep the reader going along with you on your adventure.

I wanted to hear it as you experienced it, looking back on the adventure - I 
needed more distance to do that and the third person would have given me 
that kind of reflection. But, I did enjoy reading it very much anyway. And I 
can sure relate to falling. I am the type A person who RUNS everywhere, so I 
have FALLS up stairs, down stairs, across lawns, and on sidewalk curb. I 
once lay prone on the middle of the road in front of my house just because I 
was in a hurry to get across the road to put some mail in my box before the 
mailman came. Instead, he got to see me laying there in front of his truck. 
I was not blind at all - I was just in a big hurry.


Lynda




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, January 28, 2013 2:44 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Taking the Fall for Federationism


> Shawn,
>
> I can certainly relate to this piece. I won't bother to detail all my 
> falls, but I've broken bones and gotten some pretty impressive scars.
>
> As for your piece, I'd recommend you consider writing it entirely in the 
> past tense. For me, the present tense makes it a little awkward and not as 
> smooth.
>
> "Where is 77 K St. NW?" I ask an older black gentleman you had seen me go 
> down.
> CK - I'd recommend you be more polite in your questioning, even if that is 
> accenting the creative aspect of this piece. It's a little thing, but my 
> mother drilled it into my head. And, I think you meant to use 'who', 
> although I don't think that sentence is particularly smooth.
>
> My job isn't to discuss philosophy on this list, but I can pretty much 
> promise you that most true blue NFBers will argue that you stand a better 
> chance of not falling when you use a cane.
>
> First, the coat followed by my shoe bag, then I empty my pockets into the 
> tray proved for such things.
> CK - provided?
>
> I like the theme of this piece a lot, and think you successfully completed 
> the task of writing a creative non-fiction piece.
>
> chris
>
>
>
>
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