[stylist] a horror story for halloween

[Vejas]

Hi all,
For Haloween, in my creative writing class we're doing horror 
stories.  I wrote one, and I got an a on it.  I'd like to share 
it here.  Any opinions welcome.
I feel like something is missing in this story.  I had to present 
it to my class, and my goal was to get at least 1 or 2 people to 
cry but nobody did.  Is there something more I could add to it? 
It's attached and pasted below.
America's Dysfunctionalist Family


    Welcome to "America's Dysfunctionalist Families." Today we 
present to you only one family.  None of the other families came 
even close.  So the award goes to'' the Masons of Orlando, 
Florida.  Let's give a hand to the Masons for their family! Just 
kidding.  They really don't deserve to be awarded for anything.  
One more thing before I begin telling you about them: if you're 
looking for a good laugh, please turn your TV set off right this 
instant because there is nothing laughable, unless you have a 
twisted sense of humor.  If you're looking for a good cry, you'll 
find it here.  Regardless, you'll have something to talk to your 
friends about.  Now I begin the story.
      Betty and Tennyson Mason had always wanted children.  I 
would think that any young couple would.  After years and years 
of fertility treatment, Betty fell pregnant at last.  First there 
were twins, but they lived only a few hours, and then the next 
year came quadruplets, who lived a few minutes each.  She could 
never carry past 6 months.
But the third time was different.  The third time, after 9 
straight months, they were very thrilled when a healthy boy came 
out.
"We're going to name him Betten," his father said.  "Like our 
names combined.  What do you think?"
"Yes!" his mother answered.  "Betten Mason, you are the sweetest 
boy alive."
    Before I will tell you about Betten, I'll stop for a bit and 
tell you about his parents.  Before she'd married, Betten's 
mother had been a con tatoo artist.  She would tell teenagers 
that she was giving them henna, but they were actually permanent 
tattoos.  Tennyson was a failed rapper all the way up to Betten's 
birth.  He was most known and most hated for his song "Curse My 
Life", and I know that songs often have swear words in them but 
this one was known for having the most.  He basically took every 
word there was and found ways to rhyme them.  I won't bother with 
it; look it up on You-Tube on your own time if you feel like 
wasting an hour.
      When he was growing up, Betten was spoiled.  Betty and 
Tennyson allowed Betten to have any toy he wanted, and the Masons 
brought Disneyworld passes every year.  Even though they lived 55 
minutes away, they always took their son after work.  Every 
single day of the year his mother made his favorite strawberry 
jam cake.  This cake used to be meant only for his birthday, but 
after he turned 5, he asked her sweetly, "Mommy, can I have do 
cake every day?"
"Of COURSE!" she told him.
She wasn't joking either.  Betty had waited this long to become a 
mother, and the smile on his face always made her glow.  She no 
longer bothered with teens and tattoos.  Tennyson released the 
song "Bless my Life", though of course nobody took it seriously 
after his first song.  The fact that it was only 30 minutes long 
while the first one was an hour long shows that Tennyson never 
really got over himself.
       On Betten's first day of kindergarten, Betty made her 
son's strawberry cake with one extra layer.  She had what she 
thought was a perfect shirt for him.  It was anti-religious 
because neither Betty nor her husband believed in anything.  It 
was just the right size and it said I AM NOT CHRISTIAN.  Betty 
added some words to the shirt with a smile.  It now said, I AM 
NOT CHRISTIAN I am BETTEN.  WILL YOU PLAY WITH ME? in large block 
letters.
        Betten himself didn't feel overprotected.  He had never 
been exposed to people his age before.  He thought that all 
children ate strawberry cake every day for breakfast and that all 
children could get all of the toys that they wanted.  His life 
was perfect for him until he reached school.  All of the other 
mothers left their children after kissing them good-bye, but 
Betty stayed.  When the teacher, Mrs.  Korral, said that they had 
to try to think of a list of 10 animals, Betty wrote them all 
down for him without even asking Betten what he knew.  At first 
Mrs.  Korral thought that she was just helping him.  But when she 
called Betten up, the boy obligingly strode up to the front, his 
shirt showing.
"You have beautiful handwriting, Betten!" she said, surprised