[stylist] suggestions on this short story

[Barbara Hammel]

Vejas, I'm not exactly sure how you could make this story better ... because 
it's exactly the way I'd have written when I was your age.
Barbara




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
-----Original Message----- 
From: Vejas
Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2014 2:34 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] suggestions on this short story

Hi all,
I am writing a story for class about love.  I would really like
suggesttions on it.
I have never been in a relationship, so don't know how good my
descriptions are.  Also I really don't like my ending-so I'd
really like some suggesttions.
Also note that although this is a third-person narrative, this is
largely written using the girl's thoughts.
I have to turn it in in 10 days, so there's time.
Thanks.
Vejas






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