[stylist] suggestions on this short story

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Except Vejas has a community of writers to help guide his voice and
writing abilities. I applaud Vejas for understanding the need to work on
his craft even at his age and reaching out to older writers who may have
some experience and wisdom to provide. Not all adults realize this. I
think Vejas has shown a lot of growth in his writing especially of late,
so to say he can't make it better because of his age, I find that a bit
short-sighted, and we should encourage those who are younger to work
hard, striving for perfection. Vejas seems to realize this,and I give
him a lot of credit for having the maturity not only to understand, but
for having the guts to put his stuff out there, asking older people,
some who are established writers, how he can best perfect his craft.

As a teen and in my early 20's, well hell, still, I reach out to others
with experience for advice and suggestions. I was always eager to learn
and grow, and I remember as a teen I would go to people I respected and
admired to help me develop as a musician. I understand what you mean by
this statement, so please don't think this a loaded comment, but I think
to say that  because a person is a kid or in their 20's, means they
can't or won't go much further at this point is just societal BS. We
give these labels to the younger generation, not always considering that
perhaps they can invest in the world around them and become better at
whatever they want.

And also, this is why I suggest Vejas consider making his characters
younger, closer to his age, and writing about situations that make more
sense for someone his age. You don't have to experience something
first-hand to effectively write about it, but understanding a mind-set,
a way of life, can only assist in the writing process. You don't need to
directly experience love to write about it, but Vejas would probably
understand the thoughts and feelings of two people in love who were
closer to his age, dealing with situations more familiar to him. I mean,
one of the Golden Rules of writing is write what you know, and while
what you know can and will change and grow with you, you should be
creating material with the information you currently possess.

Nonetheless, I think Vejas has the potential to make this story a lot
more credible.

Bridgit

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Barbara
Hammel
Sent: Sunday, February 02, 2014 10:45 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] suggestions on this short story


Vejas, I'm not exactly sure how you could make this story better ...
because 
it's exactly the way I'd have written when I was your age. Barbara




Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert
Frost -----Original Message----- 
From: Vejas
Sent: Saturday, February 01, 2014 2:34 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] suggestions on this short story

Hi all,
I am writing a story for class about love.  I would really like
suggesttions on it. I have never been in a relationship, so don't know
how good my descriptions are.  Also I really don't like my ending-so I'd
really like some suggesttions. Also note that although this is a
third-person narrative, this is largely written using the girl's
thoughts. I have to turn it in in 10 days, so there's time. Thanks.
Vejas






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