[stylist] Poem - "Hiroshima" - (sonnet)

Thu Jun 12 03:36:21 UTC 2014

That's why I cannot write sonnets.  It's that twist at the end.  I can write 
the rhyme scheme, but not follow the setup.
Barbara

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.--Robert Frost
-----Original Message----- 
From: Jackie Williams via stylist
Sent: Wednesday, June 11, 2014 8:02 PM
To: 'William L Houts' ; 'Writer's Division Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [stylist] Poem - "Hiroshima" - (sonnet)

Bill,
As you know, from my past e-mails, I am an admirer of your poetry. I analyze
it, try to understand it, and if it is a form, try to fit it with my own
understanding of the form.
I understand your poem, and think the content is right on, and put both
poetically and realistically.
Essentially you have a sonnet because it is iambic pentameter, and 14 lines
with a twist or conclusion in the last two lines. As far as I can tell, it
has the following rhyme pattern:
A, B, A, B,  A, C, A, C, D, A, D, A, D, D. This is not Shakespearean, or
Petrarchan, or a McNeil sonnet. There are many recognized variations, but
because this is unconventional, why don't you just call it  a sonnet
variation?
In this way you could submit it in any rhymed category, or a form poetry
category being sure you use the word variation to keep it from being
challenged. The judges just want to know that you know the form you are
using and that if they specify Shakespearean, that is what you use.
Your format in no way detracts from the quality and interest of your poem
unless you are too specific.
This info is also for Barbara who asked a question about it.
Your poem took me right to the target of the blast a minute before it went
off. Not an easy thing to do, and good for all of us to feel if we want a
nuclear free world.
Jackie

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts via stylist
Sent: Monday, June 09, 2014 8:17 AM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: [stylist] Poem - "Hiroshima" - (sonnet)

HI Gang,

Here's a sonnet; one of the few I've written worthy of the name, and it
shouldn't be a headache to read, as far as I can tell. Comments welcome,
as always.

--Bill

---

No enemies were bombed, no tanks or planes:

just people walking dogs or bringing home

their fish and rice from market stalls while chains

of splitting atoms high above become

a lightning hellish holocaust which rains

a nightmare poison down, a billion wraths.

Today, the children fold their paper cranes

and pray to save the world from psychopaths.

But that's a country with an ancient mind,

where history is taught and facts retained.

America, I fear, is not that kind

Our virgin state, when lost, is e'er regained.

To learn and leave the past?We're not inclined:

our nation's got a faint, forgetful mind.

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