[stylist] Fw: Poem - "Arrival" - First Draft

[Chris Kuell]

Second try...

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Chris Kuell" <ckuell at comcast.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 07, 2014 9:38 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Poem - "Arrival" - First Draft


> Hi Bill,
>
> Another interesting poem, this one certainly more accessible to the common 
> folk. I don't know if there were formatting issues resulting from cutting 
> and pasting, but in my version, you need a space between 'enough' and 'to' 
> in the drink line. There are also a couple of spots where you need a space 
> after a period. One question I had was about your choice of 'milk'. Of 
> course, we humans associate water with life,  s the two are inseperable. 
> But milk? Sure, it's the initial sustinance of many of our world's babies. 
> But if your aliens want to experience what it is to be human--give them a 
> beer! A bottle of California red--even a Coke and a smile.
>
> chris
>