[stylist] Poem - "Breeze" - Second Draft

[Barbara HAMMEL]

Frankly, Bill, I think you have an awesome start at something here. I'm not sure I like the REDDISH sweat but I do like the use of lave here. Airfoot for a-foot kind of threw me off, too.
Why did you use hallelujah isles? Maybe distant isles or in your language maybe star-flung isles. And I have to look devoirs because I don't know that word.
Overall, I love this poem!
Barbara

Sent from my iPhone

> On Jul 21, 2015, at 11:08, William L Houts via stylist <stylist at nfbnet.org> wrote:
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> Good Morning, My Droogies,
> 
> Here's my secondish or thirdish run at a poem I started on yesterday.  It's a little bit of nothing, really, just an etude or finger exercise, a little study in rhyme, but for me anyway it has it's satisfactions, the maihn one being that I was in despair over it yesterday and posted to the list about that, but now I've got this little piece which I might take up in the future and see what might be made of it. if anything.
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> --Bill
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> ---
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> *Breeze *
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> The wind winds clever airfoot
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> through my hair, and laves my face of reddish sweat.
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> It chills a little, and though I fly me wide
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> to greet this gust, this guest, I guess
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> I'll bear his touch with breath as fair as unseen kiss:
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> that I might meet the wind in wind's own dress
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> and bear to bed his cares, that he might fly
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> to seas of hallelujah isles, his mission made
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> to bless another, maybe darker face
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> and, his devoirs done, to scud the waves.
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> -- 
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> "Oh, Sophie!  Whyfore have you eated all de cheeldren?"
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