[stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft

[William L Houts]

Oh yeah, Chris:

The use of "ape" in that line is meant to suggest that without the 
scorchers of summer, the season would mimic the other months and so 
deprive us of summer's particular charms.  But now I need to read and 
reread that line to determine if the sense I intended is simply more 
obscure than can be borne by a short little pleasantry about summer. 
Geez, Bill, you're not trying to rewrite "Prufrock" here, are you? LOL


--Bill






On 6/25/2015 5:49 AM, Chris Kuell via stylist wrote:
> Hi Bill,
>
> Don't you wish we had these blow up pools when we were younger? What a
> great, and relatively inexpensive way to cool off in the summer. I'm
> thinking of installing a sump pump and fashioning a fountain in ours.
>
> Anyway, as for your poem, I like it, but not as much as some of your other
> works. As stated above, I do appreciate the summer cool, and I really like
> the image of shaking off like a baboon. I can't really wrap my head around
> the use of the word 'ape' here:
>
> would ape the other months and by them blandness cry.
>
> Hunh??
>
> And to me, it seems as though you are trying too hard to be clever with your
> first line:
> Twelve feet by three our pool:deep
>
> Why not:
> Our pool is twelve feet long, three deep
>
> Which is clearer to me, and still ends on deep.
>
> Just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
>
> Chris
>
>   
>
>
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-- 


"Oh, Sophie!  Whyfore have you eated all de cheeldren?"