[stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft

[Chris Kuell]

Hey Bill,

As I've moved through my day, I've been thinking about your poem, and more
specifically, your idea for a tricycle, if you will, of water poems. And I
think your third poem in the cycle should deal with the power of water.
Sure, we need it for hydration, and it's awesome for cooling off in the
summer heat. But it can also be devastating. Tsunamis, hurricanes, floods,
the absolute immensity of power in a place like Niagara falls--it's pretty
awesome.

Something for you to think about.

Chris
 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of William L
Houts via stylist
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2015 9:50 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Cc: William L Houts
Subject: Re: [stylist] Poem - "Pool" - Second Draft

Oh yeah, Chris:

The use of "ape" in that line is meant to suggest that without the scorchers
of summer, the season would mimic the other months and so deprive us of
summer's particular charms.  But now I need to read and reread that line to
determine if the sense I intended is simply more obscure than can be borne
by a short little pleasantry about summer. 
Geez, Bill, you're not trying to rewrite "Prufrock" here, are you? LOL


--Bill






On 6/25/2015 5:49 AM, Chris Kuell via stylist wrote:
> Hi Bill,
>
> Don't you wish we had these blow up pools when we were younger? What a 
> great, and relatively inexpensive way to cool off in the summer. I'm 
> thinking of installing a sump pump and fashioning a fountain in ours.
>
> Anyway, as for your poem, I like it, but not as much as some of your 
> other works. As stated above, I do appreciate the summer cool, and I 
> really like the image of shaking off like a baboon. I can't really 
> wrap my head around the use of the word 'ape' here:
>
> would ape the other months and by them blandness cry.
>
> Hunh??
>
> And to me, it seems as though you are trying too hard to be clever 
> with your first line:
> Twelve feet by three our pool:deep
>
> Why not:
> Our pool is twelve feet long, three deep
>
> Which is clearer to me, and still ends on deep.
>
> Just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
>
> Chris
>
>   
>
>
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-- 


"Oh, Sophie!  Whyfore have you eated all de cheeldren?"


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