[Stylist] (no subject)

[jackieleepoet at cox.net]

Annie,

I thought both you and Chris had some good detailed thoughts about Shawn’s story. 

I was very impressed with his story, but would need to read it more times than one to come up with the details that registered with you.

The group is lucky to have both of you that give such thoughtful reviews.

Jacqueline Williams

 

From: Stylist <stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ann Chiappetta via Stylist
Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2021 3:22 PM
To: 'Shawn Jacobson' <sdj60259 at aol.com>; 'Writers' Division Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Cc: anniecms64 at gmail.com
Subject: Re: [Stylist] (no subject)

 

Hi-

Some thoughts about this story. Take it or leave it, of course.

*	If you are going Sci-Fi, go all in, don’t leave behind the  21st century nomenclature and colloquialisms  with 24th century adaptations.
*	Try new words or gender new phrases like non binary, the use of the word “they” instead of he/she. 
*	If these folks use brain boxes to replace  the visual cortex functions, perhaps you could write it in somewhere. For example, you mention sonar, this is another form of visual appreciation.
*	“probe” rather than “cane”?
*	Also, I am not clear on how  these folks receive and read contextual information, by haptic feedback? A tablet with refreshable etchings?  A scanner of some sort? How would a society raised without sight know how a camera or scanner works? 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Ann Chiappetta, Author

Anniecms64 at gmail.com <mailto:Anniecms64 at gmail.com> 

` Making meaningful connections with others through writing `

 

914.393.6605

www.annchiappetta.c <http://www.annchiappetta.c/> om Facebook Annie Chiappetta

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” 

*	 Joseph Campbell

 

 

 

From: Stylist <stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org <mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org> > On Behalf Of Shawn Jacobson via Stylist
Sent: Tuesday, September 14, 2021 8:28 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org <mailto:stylist at nfbnet.org> 
Cc: Shawn Jacobson <sdj60259 at aol.com <mailto:sdj60259 at aol.com> >
Subject: [Stylist] (no subject)

 

Dear writers 

 

I am writing to share my latest story; I am doing so because I would like anyone who wants to take a crack at being a sensitivity reader to look at this to make sure I am not being stupid in describing how totally blind people would function in the futuristic setting that I am describing.  I know how I do things, but I am a high partial type person and I understand that someone totally blind would have different techniques/a different perspective on things.

 

Also, if anyone has stylistic suggestions, or finds typos/mispellings, please let me know.

 

Thanks in advance for your help.

Shawn Jacobson
sdj60259 at aol.com <mailto:sdj60259 at aol.com> 

(301)915-5881

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