[blindkid] Identify yourself please

Bonnie Lucas lucas.bonnie at gmail.com
Sat Nov 22 03:52:46 UTC 2008


I have loved reading all of these comments. I will admit that until i was in 
my 40's and had an 8 or 9 year old blind child, unless I was sure about who 
the person was, I would just say hi and let it go. Many times I regretted 
not asking because after the person passed, I would realize who it was and 
would wish I had known so I could talk more to that person. Then I began to 
get to know some folkss from NFB, i had never joined, and a woman, who I 
have come to admire encouraged me to ask when I wasn't sure. What I 
discovered is then when I ask I am almost always glad because I really do 
have something more than just "hi," to say to the person.

As far as guessing games, whether it is rude or not, I have learned not to 
hesitate to simply say, "I'm sorry but I really don't like to play guessing 
games." Once someone begged me to guess and I just said that I didn't want 
to embarrass him or myself if I was wrong.

aubrie is like most of your children. She gets embarrassed when I ask people 
who they are and she doesn't ask who is talking to her. I have been with her 
when she does not say thank you or hi to someone who says hi to her and I, 
unfortunately perhaps, correct her. sometimes she says it but it is so soft 
that I'm not sure she has been heard. Quite frankly, I think my sighted 
children did some similar things but I also think they may have made eye 
contact with the speaker and of course they knew who the person was. Even 
now, there are times when I am a little embarrassed to ask because I feel I 
should really know who someone is. I'm glad I have made improvements in this 
part of my life because it has opened many doors for me when I am friendly 
with others and it is hard to be friendly if you do not know who you are 
being friendly with. Conversations tent to end rather abruptly when you 
don't know with whom you are communicating.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Carrie Gilmer" <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)'" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 9:45 AM
Subject: [blindkid] Identify yourself please


> Hi All, Especially to our blind colleagues and friends.
>
>
>
> I have one thing with Jordan that has improved but still is an "issue". I
> think it bugs me way more than him, and likely that is why it is still an
> "issue".
>
>
>
> Jordan often does not ask people to identify themselves. It is one thing,
> and understandable to me, when he is in the very crowded school hallways 
> and
> some voice calls out, "hey Jordan!" in a passing greeting and he simply
> calls back hey-but has no idea who that hey came from and to not yell out 
> in
> a crowd "hey who are you?",
>
>
>
> But there are many times.
>
> At the state fair, in a store, even at a lunch room table!, where he 
> THINKS
> he is talking to one person and discovers mid-conversation that is not who
> he is talking with (and never says anything or finds in the end who it 
> was),
> or we walk away from the teen working the register or who has come up in
> Best Buy and said "hello" and I ask "Who was that?" and he says I have no
> idea.  I know that sometimes because he is one of 3,000 at school-and
> because he has the one and only thing, a lot more people know who he is 
> than
> vice versa and sometimes he really doesn't know who they are, but not
> uncommonly it is evident the kid who is greeting him, he should know, but 
> he
> doesn't ask. I know that sometimes he thinks it is rude, if the other kid
> thinks Jordan should know who they are.the same way if I forget someone's
> name and I should definitely know it, and I am thinking how can I ask
> without offending?...But many times he is just too "shy" about it. I have
> seen on the student list before threads where lots of kids are somewhat
> uncomfortable with this one. Any strategies that you blind folks have come
> up with to gain the confidence or decide when to do it? Is it just a
> personality thing, because I know many blind folks who are not shy about 
> it
> and simply say, "Who are you?"
>
>
>
> Should I just let this one go now as a mom-especially since he is now a
> senior in high school?
>
>
>
> Carrie Gilmer, President
>
> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>
> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
>
> Home Phone: 763-784-8590
>
> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
>
> www.nfb.org/nopbc
>
>
>
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