[Oabs] Independence

[Kaiti Shelton]

Hi, Ryan,

Very interesting discussion.  I think that independence has two
components; the skills of how to do things, and the attitude of
independence.

For me, I learned most of the skills I now have by working with my
mom.  Admittedly, with 2 other kids in the house my mom was not very
up-to-date on the blindness stuff after I reached the 5th grade or so.
 Once all three of the kids were active, and she was the primary
caregiver and had to limo us all around to music lessons, basketball
and softball practices, dance, etc, the focus turned to teaching me to
do things for myself so she would not have to do them for me.  As a
result, I think I learned a few things before some other blind kids
learned them.  I know 20 somethings who don't perform basic tasks I
learned how to do at 11 or 12 years old, and I am really greatful to
my mother for teaching them.  But, like everyone else, I did have some
other holes in my daily living skills which weren't filled in until
later, and mostly with self-determination to bug my mom until she
taught me, or just using a trial and error method when it was
applicable.  Overall though, I learned most of what I needed to know,
like microwave cooking, how to clean things, and how to do laundry,
before I left for college.

Now here is where the attitude piece comes into play.  I think it is
critical that kids learn in some form or fashion how to do simple
daily living tasks, so that when they are older they have the
confidence to try to teach themselves what they don't already know.
For example, Aside from a few random adventures in cooking, I had
never used an oven or stove to prepare food until half way through
this past fall semester.  I had a kitchen in my apartment, and it was
simply easier (and cheaper) to cook at home than to go to the dining
hall when I did not have a meal plan.  I started with little things,
like grilled cheese which require minimal effort.  Pasta and rice was
also a staple for a while because you can't really mess it up.  Now
I'm starting to tackle meats, and actually cooked burgers for my
roommate and I a few days ago.  I had done this before, but getting
the timing right so that the inside of the burger was fully cooked was
a work in progress.

I think both aspects of independence are equally important.  While it
is crucial that blind kids be shown how to do some things, they also
need the confidence to take control of their own lives and learn
themselves.  I really feel bad for those kids who are so coddled by
their parents that they are lacking in both parts of this, but I also
feel it is okay for the parents to not teach absolutely everything.
Afterall, no kid, blind or sighted, can or should expect to rely on
their parents for everything, and sighted kids have some of the same
issues we have just because all these daily liing skills are things
that need to be learned.  I know my mother showed my sighted sister
how to use the laundry machines at home, both because she taught her
and I when we were about 13 and 14 respectively and didn't want her
young daughters messing it up, and because it was just something new).
 My sister has also had her own cooking mishaps, from skipping steps
of recipes, to forgetting to turn the oven timer on so things wouldn't
burn, to thinking she didn't really have to use Pam when making a
batch of Brownies, and then having to pry said brownies out of the pan
and having several fly across the kitchen because of the force needed
to un-stick them.  Some things, I think, are not independence skills
specific to blindness as much as we think they are, and I think that
is important for us to bear in mind as well.

Just my two cents worth.

On 4/30/14, Ryan Silveira <ryan.l.silveira at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi All,
>
> I was thinking today
>  on the matter of independence.  There has, of late, been a fair amount of
> discussion on the subject on the NABS list, so I thought I might bring it up
> on this one.  Most sighted people take what we call "independent living
> skills" (e.g. making a bed, cooking, cleaning, etc.) for granted.  They
> learn those skills by watching others as they grow up.  We, however, cannot
> learn by watching our parents.  We also may perform some of the tasks above
> with some modifications.  There are several ways blind and visually impaired
> people learn these skills.  Some spend time with their parents showing them
> what to do, some have private instruction by a teacher of rehabilitation and
> some attend training centers such as the Colorado Center for the Blind, the
> Louisiana Center for the Blind, Blind, inc. or World Services for the Blind.
>  I was wondering how all of you learned the independence skills that will
> allow you to succeed on your own in high school, college and beyond?
>
> For my part, I did learn much from my parents, though I also attended summer
> programs at the Perkins School for the Blind and the Carroll Center for the
> Blind.  In addition, thought it was not my main focus, the skills were
> perfected during the beginning of my time at World Services for the Blind.
> What about the rest of you all?
>
>
> Ryan L. Silveira
> Corresponding Secretary
> Ohio Association of Blind Students
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind of Ohio
> (203) 731-7580
> ryan.l.silveira at gmail.com
>
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-- 
Kaiti Shelton
University of Dayton 2016.
Music Therapy, Psychology, Philosophy
President, Ohio Association of Blind Students
Sigma Alpha Iota-Delta Sigma