[NFB-Seniors] Sharing - Another Members Activity - I SAW YOU POUR YOUR WATER

[Robert Leslie Newman]

Hi You All

RE: Blindness, and Another exercise in patience and education 

 

I SAW YOU POUR YOUR WATER

by Lauren Merryfield

 

I recently moved to a retirement center where most of the residents are
quite active. 

 

One woman wanted to help me with every little thing, but, as she said, she
was doing it because she didn't think a blind person could do this or that.


 

She did not think I could find my utensils and napkin at mealtime because I
am blind. She did not understand how I found the tv room when I was blind.
She kept saying things that implied that even when I could do something, I
couldn't possibly do it well because I am blind. The term "blind" was in
nearly everything she said to me. 

 

I accepted some of her help but tried time and time again to explain to her
that I could do whatever it was she was doubtful about. 

 

This went on for weeks and was getting old. I was about to either yell at
her or go to the management staff to put an end to what was feeling like a
case of psychological bullying. She kept putting me in my place as inferior
to hers. 

 

Then her husband became seriously ill and was placed in hospice. The woman
visited him every day until he passed away. 

 

During this time, she did not hover so much over me because, as she said,
she was grieving the loss of her husband. I was sympathetic toward her at
this time, having lost my husband twelve years ago.  So we were actually now
on better terms with each other. 

 

There are several people living here who have macular degeneration and they
cannot read print, drive, play Bingo (they think) or a number of other
things. Yet they see me doing all of these things except driving.  Several
of them were feeling perturbed at how this one lady was negatively stuck on
my blindness. They told her so, stating that my being here has been very
helpful to them.  They are now aware of the print/braille Bingo cards,
Newsline, the Library for the Blind, the NFB, (though none have joined yet),
and maneuvering my manual wheelchair. They see me struggle due to pain and
stamina issues, but they see me get where I need to get.  So they told this
lady to back off and realize what I could do, which they found helpful to
them. 

 

A couple evenings ago, at dinner, I sat down and poured myself a glass of
water, as I do for each meal. The lady announced, rather loudly, in front of
everyone in the dining room "I saw you pouring your water, with your finger
there to feel when it is at the top. I've seen you do other things I thought
you couldn't do just by doing something a little different so that you feel
instead of see what you are doing. I am learning from you." (something like
that).  Several others piped up that they were learning, too, and that was
good because they have macular degeneration.  Sometimes they can see
something and sometimes not.  

 

This was the first time this lady did not lower her expectations of me and
put me in an inferior position to her. It was a dawning, on her part, of
recognition and acceptance of how I might do something a little differently,
but still, I do it.  

 

So remember, it is not necessarily the big, impressive things we do as blind
people that finally convince someone who is bent on lower expectations for
us. It can be an everyday act, such as pouring a glass of water, that can
make the difference.  That evening, this woman was finally beginning to see
that in spite of the doubt in others, I am living the life I want.  

 

 

  Consider the flowers of a garden:  though differing in kind, color, form
and shape, yet, inasmuch as they are refreshed by the waters of one spring,
revived by the breath of one wind, invigorated by the rays of one sun, this
diversity increaseth their charm, and addeth unto their beauty.  ....
'Abdu'l-Baha 

Advice from my cats:meow when you feel like it. My audiobook is available on
Audible.com.