[SC-CSTD] Tech Support Agents, People Wonder Why Their Paid So Much For Being On The Phone, Humor

[Steve Cook]

People wonder why are they paid so much for just being on the phone. Take a
look: 

 

**
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." 
Customer "Ok." 
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" 
Customer: "No." 
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" 
Customer "No." 
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?" 
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." 

 

**
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
the same error message." 
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?" 
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?" 

 

**
Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft  Word." 
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done." 
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'." 
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me  what it says." 
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and  Recovery disk'." 
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk." 
Customer:: "What?" 
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?" 
Customer: "No..." 

 

**
Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?" 
Tech Support:: ?!%#$ 

 

**
Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, 
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" 
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from  there?" 

 

**
Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?" 
Customer:: "A white one." 

 

**
Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt." 
Customer:: "How do you spell that?" 

 

**
Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?" 
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service) 
Tech Support:: "Well then we can't-" 
Customer:: "It says 'no dial tone'." 
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line  with me right now. You
need to-" 
Customer:: "No, that's not it. It does this all the  time. I just have to
try a few times, and it will let me through." 
Tech Support:: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because
you're on the phone with me." 
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later." 

 

**
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?" 
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store." 

 

**
Tech Support:: "What operating system are you  running?" 
Customer: "Pentium." 

 

**
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an  illegal abortion." 

 

**
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder." 

 

**
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?" 

 

**
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly." 
Tech Support: "What does it say?" 
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." 
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a  floppy inside?" 
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." 

 

**
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?" 

 

**
Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?" 
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." 
Tech Support:: "Well?" 
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?" 

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